How to Develop Thick Skin

What it means to have the personality trait “Thick Skin”

Having thick skin means being emotionally resilient or less sensitive to criticism, insults or negative feedback. A person with thick skin can handle harsh comments, rejection or adversity without becoming overly upset or affected. It’s often seen as a desirable quality in dealing with difficult situations or people.

There are a multitude of reasons why developing this trait will benefit you in everyday life. Here are just a few:

We experience increased exposure to criticism and opinions due to the rise of social media and digital platforms. People are less scared to make harsh comments due to the lack of accountability the online world provides. Having thick skin will help navigate through this without allowing it to affect your self-worth and confidence.

Modern workplaces are often competitive and fast-paced, requiring individuals to face rejection, performance critiques and set backs. It is important to not let these discourage you as you must remain focused on improvement and your long-term goals

It will allow you to deal with difficult conservations, disagreements or debates without becoming defensive or hostile. Even if not enjoyable, these types of communication are part of life, so you must have the tools to get your opinion across in a calm manner

5-Step Guide to Developing Thick Skin

1. Spotlight Effect (Cognitive Bias)

We think people are paying more attention to use than they are.

Everyone assumes their appearance, actions, or mistakes are more visible and scrutinised than they are. In reality, most people are focused on themselves and pay less attention to others than we think. So if you ever are feeling self-conscious or embarrassed about your previous social situations just realise, that chances are no one noticed. Even if they did, they don’t think it’s as big of a deal, as you do in your head

2. Growth Mindset

Commit yourself to lifelong learning.

A growth mindset is a perspective shift to seeing challenges as opportunities to grow. Embracing all types of feedback to find ways to improve and persist in the face of setbacks

Focus on the inputs and the outputs will follow. Concentrate on your actions and efforts (Inputs) such as consistent work, preparation and healthy habits. There will always be a delay between the input and output so don’t be disheartened. The desired results (Outputs) will naturally occur over time.

3. Gradual Desensitization

By systematically increasing your exposure to rejection and focusing on personal growth, you become more resilient and less affected by setbacks. Put yourself in low-risk situations where rejection is likely but not detrimental. Reflect on these experiences and separate your personal feelings from the situation itself. Gradually increase exposure and reframe the situation as an opportunity to learn lessons and use it as constructive feedback.

4. Get your sleep

Research has proven that a lack of sleep makes you more emotionally reactive.

To make a long story short sleep prevents emotional reactivity by regulating the brain’s emotional center. A lack of sleep weakens this control, leading to heightened emotional responses and stress.

This is why people say the phrase ‘Sleep on it’ when a big decision needs to be made, this is because it gives your mind time to ‘cool off’ which allows you to make less emotional decisions.

So get your 7-8 Hours!

5. No is normal

Understand that rejection is a common experience in life and is an opportunity for growth. When you get rejected understand that this is not a personal attack on your character but someone just declining what you are offering. You may be declined due to a specific situation, product or behaviour, not you as a person. Remember its completely ok for someone to say no to what you are offering

Quote of the day

Improvement is never linear and there will always be setbacks. To end this newsletter, I hope the list below will give you a new perspective on the importance of thick skin and why it’s vital in achieving success.

• Colonel Harland Sanders: At 65, Sanders had his chicken recipe rejected over 1,000 times before finally finding success with KFC

• Michael Jordan: In high school, Jordan was cut from the varsity basketball team

• Stephen King: King’s first novel, Carrie, was rejected 30 times.

• The Beatles: Rejected by several record labels

• Thomas Edison: Famously failed thousands of times before inventing the light bulb

• Walt Disney: Fired from a newspaper job because “he lacked imagination and no good ideas”

Offering simple, practical ways to enhance your life

Thanks for Reading,

- Oli